STINGY? FIND OUT WHY YOU SHOULD INVESTIGATE HIM!!!

“Mwanaume ni walet!” This is a common statement among many ladies especially the young generation in Campuses. Of course we ladies need money for our expensive lifestyles, salon, nice dresses, makeups, and nice food (Si mnajua we are allergic to githeri) and for travelling. We  have too find ways of getting this extra coin for our expensive upkeep. For these reasons, we have no other choice other than turning to men to men (really? Let’s see). We expect men to be funding us always. We want the men to be buying us those expensive things, give us money, buy us wine and so on. Yah, it is not bad, But does it mean that those who doesn’t have money should not date! Of course everyone has a right to own a partner of the opposite sex, whether rich or poor. It is nature!

It is a fact that we all come from different backgrounds. We have to find a way of understanding each other. If you love someone, don’t love him/her because of the material things u get from them. Love comes deep within, that is why the sign of love is a heart, not a wallet, or a coin, or a pocket, or an ATM for that matter. Love comes from the heart.

For my fellow ladies in Campus, don’t look down upon the guys in campus who you consider poor, Just because they cant give you money. You never know, they can give you something that might change your life. Imagine that guys is also studying, not earning. You are in the same shoe at the same level in the same position. Why can’t you appreciate the little he is doing?. And am not saying that you should not be given, kama alibarikiwa nazo, na upewe, Uchafuliwe hadi uoze na pesa. But if that guys is straining, please take him slow. There are some signs that guys show and we mistake them for being mikono glue or stingy for that matter. Take your time to examine your guy before pushing him to the wall. Sometimes ni maisha kuwa ngumu. Even you at home you are sometimes forced kukopa sukuma wiki, Na imagine mamako bado anaita daddy honey.

Here are some of the things that might give you a hint that HE IS REALLY straining, but are mistaken for stinginess.

1. You have borrowed him some airtime. He takes some time and texts you some digits for you to top up. Sometimes ni credo ya 20 ama hata zaidi. Please don’t talk ill of him. Maybe he has the OKOA JAHAZI debt that akitry kutop up, saf watabeba yote na akose cha kukutumia. Things are done for love. Usikatae kumuongelesha, Just appreciate and feel proud of him. That guy can die for you. It might have been the only coin he had. But he decided to buy you airtime.
2. You have asked him to send you money, Say 500 bob, but he don’t send you immediately. He delays then send you Ksh. 527. Exactly na za kutoa. Don’t judge him. If you visit his phone and read the texts he has sent to friends and relatives borrowing that money, you will notice that he loves you. Or just ask that dem wa MPESA that he went to beg for a direct transactions. Coz most likely that message came in form of “GIVE KSH 527 TO HUSTLER COMMUNICTIONS… blah blah blah!”. Hata hakupata za kutuma. If that guy had millions, angekufungulia bank account. Remember the widow at the temple?
3. You have gone in a hotel for lunch or dinner, then he rushes to pick the menu and starts suggesting foods for you. Don’t rush to snatch the menu claiming “Hutanichagulia food! Acha nijichagulie!” If he has not asked you “Baby utakula nini?” Leave him to do what he is doing. If only you could know the kind of heavy mathematics that are running in his head at that moment, FOOD + DRINK + FARE + EMERGENCY-DENI=?????….. He knows his pocket best. Hata akikuchagulia ugali sukuma. Just eat and ask for toothpicks, Akiwa na pesa atakuambia you select the food and select for him too. Sometimes it is not being stingy, ni hesabu kukataa kubalance. Ask accountants and economists.
4. You want to go out and he tells you that he has downloaded the best Romantic movie for you guys to watch at night. Then when you reach there you find out that it is the DJ AFRO movie. Don’t get mad. He still needs you. Kama angekuwa na pesa hata mungeenda Virgin Island. Just try to be positive. Tell him that you have enjoyed the movie, make him feel like a winner. Don’t start telling him how your friends have gone out, how you have missed the party. These are the things we call “Tumefunga macho tupende”.

Love should not be taken as a source of income. Love or relationships should be taken as being there for each other. If you see he is down financially and you have something, surprise him. Help him to pay that bill, mlipie hiyo deni ya saf asiwekwe blacklist, surprise him bora tu isiwe kuzoeshana.

And am not defending dudes. For you dudess, kama una uwezo, treat that lady of yours like a queen, if you don’t, she might land in someone that might treat her best. And you will remain there, hanging. But girls, you should not leave your guys for petty reasons like hajakupa doo. Ask your mum how many times your dad has failed to give her money, and you will be surprised. She is still with him. We can learn to understand each other. Not always being on the receiving end. A giving hand receives more blessings than a receiving hand. No wonder most men are richer than women (Joking). We can learn to at least try to be independent. Hata Gormahia hawana sponsor and are still doing great.

All in all, let us try to understand our partners and be patient enough to bare with the situations that prevail.

By Janet TheWriter.

 

 

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